看見孩子的長處，不要看重孩子的成績

上週五Jimmy帶回學校聯絡簿，外師Nigel對他的學習成就，給了負面的評價，。內容大概是哥哥在班上英文大概是在均下的程度，英文讀、寫及數學表現都不佳。看到老師評價的我，說實在有些不悅，也沒想到孩子的課業，對家長所產生壓力在我還沒心理準備時，已悄悄來臨！當初會送他們唸全美語的學校，主要是希望能讓他們快樂的學英語，希望美式教育能讓害羞的哥哥能open-minded，也相信外師們會重視個別差異，讓他們適性發展。但面對這樣結果導向的評語，讓我為貼心善良的哥哥抱不平，也擔心他會因為挫折而喪失對學習的樂趣。
後來想想，或許Nigel只是單純的想要告知家長，孩子在學校的學習狀況吧，我不想這麼快就將壓力轉移給Jimmy及自己，所以決定寫了封信給Nigel，除了感謝他的教導外，也希望告訴他Jimmy的好，並請老師能給他多些鼓勵，讓他建立一段美麗的學習經驗及自信。至於Jimmy，我希望自己仍能像過去一樣的鼓勵他，給他信心，雖然學習慢，但我深信善良的本質比這業學業的成就來的重要。也暗自警惕自己，不要做一個被升學主義下牽動情緒的父母；要做一個看見孩子長處，不要看重孩子成績的父母！
Dear Teacher Nigel:
Thank you for your teaching, kids like you very much.
This June I attended Sunshine’s school show, I was so surprised and touched their performance. They already grow up!
Jimmy is a little shy and sensitive boy, he is easily get nervous.
Most of the time, I encourage him to try the new things. But he is a good boy, he can help me a lot at home, and I also found he love to read, sometimes he will pick up the English book and reading by himself.
I know his learning is slower than Jerry or other kids. Maybe he needs more time and more concentration.
Thanks for you giving us about kids learning information.
Let’s work together to help him to set up a beautiful learning experience and confidence. Thanks a lot!
Jimmy & Jerry’s mommy
2008.10.11